Five Times Gail Gets Irrationally Jealous
by Baxley McTedders
Summary: Companion piece to Five Times Holly Gets Irrationally Jealous.


I.

Gail collected her shots and made her way back to her table as Girls' Night raged around her. She had just slid back into her seat at The Penny when she picked up on the sudden silence. "What are we talking about?" she asked over the bar room noise.

"Soooo, Peck…" Chloe slurred just a little and scooted her chair noisily closer to Gail. "I've been dying to ask you a question and I haven't had the nerve."

"Oh, oh," Andy raised her hand in the air, "Me, too! Me, too!"

"The same one I've been wanting to ask," Traci said.

"Go ahead," Andy pointed to Traci. "Do it."

"You," Traci wagged her finger at Chloe. "You started it."

Chloe cleared her throat, obviously working up to it. "Okay…"

"What the fuck is it already?" Gail glared at all them, one a time waiting.

"What's it like?" Chloe blurted.

"Same question," Andy seconded.

"What's what like?" Gail was momentarily lost.

"Lady sex," Chloe clarified loudly. "Sex with ladies."

"Well, one, I'm having sex with one lady. Just the one," Gail said to her. "And two, you should know. You're banging Dov."

"You're a meanie," Chloe pouted and took another gulp of her drink. "And mean."

"I'm hurt." Her tone was anything but, actually. "My heart is broken."

"C'mon!" Andy slapped the table. "We're all friends here. Tell us."

Gail shot McNally her most unimpressed glare.

"Okay," Traci tapped her bottle against the wood of the tabletop. "Gail doesn't have to say anything she doesn't want to." She turned to Gail, "If you're embar-"

"I'm having the best sex of my life," Gail said bluntly. "I've got nothing to be embarrassed about." Her face lit up with her next words, "My girlfriend is fucking hot. And pretty amazing…at sex and in general."

"She is hot," Traci agreed.

"Gorgeous," Gail said with a proud smile. "And a genius."

"Uh huh," Chloe added. "Very nice, Peck. Very nice."

"Oh, hell yeah. If you're going to be a lesbian, you definitely picked the right woman for it," Andy said with a furious nod. "Like, whoa. Totally doable."

And that was the end of that.

Traci and Chloe could say it, but Andy McNally could not. Not after her history.

"Nope," Gail told Andy firmly.

"No?" Andy was in a state of drunken confusion and didn't quite catch on. "Yes! She's really hot, Gail."

"No, no, no. No, no. No, no, no, no," Gail said, each 'no' getting louder. "Nah-oooo. Not a chance in hell. Nopety, nope. Nada. Nuh uh."

"What?" McNally asked.

"Nooooooo."

"Gail, c'mon," Traci tried to intervene.

Gail fished out some money from her pocket and threw it on their table.

"Gail, don't go!" Chloe said as she simultaneously grabbed Gail's forgotten shot.

"She didn't mean it," Traci called to her.

"What did I do?"

"No!" Gail pointed at Andy. "Stay away from her, you got me?"

XXX

"We talk about things," Gail said to Holly out of the blue two nights later. They were lying in the bed, Gail stretched out on her belly with her arms crossed under her head. "Wouldn't you say?"

Holly's hand paused in its idle scratching along Gail's back and her eyes flicked away from the print of her book and to her girlfriend. "Yeah."

"Everything, really," Gail continued.

"Uh huh."

"Most everything anyway."

Holly shut her book and angled herself toward Gail. "What do you want to talk about, Gail?"

"Who said I wanted to talk about anything?"

"Oh," Holly's eyebrow arched. "You just want to talk about how we talk about things?"

"Maybe," Gail said stubbornly.

"You want to have a conversation about conversations?" Holly asked. "Sounds productive."

"I was going to ask you a question, but now I don't want to."

Holly rolled over to place her book on her nightstand and rolled back over to face Gail. She propped her head up on her hand. "Ask."

"Nope."

"Ask," Holly said again. "Now, you've got my undivided attention."

"Nah," Gail still refused.

"Okay."

Holly started to roll away until Gail stopped her by asking, "Would you ever sleep with McNally?"

The question was so stunning that Holly wasn't even sure she heard it right. "Huh?"

"Would you sleep with McNally?" Gail asked just as calmly as she did the first time.

"Uh…" Holly squinted her eyes a bit. She wasn't sure what kind of trap Gail might be laying. "What?"

Gail never moved from her position, but her eyes seemed to bore deeper into Holly's face. "It's just a question."

"Andy McNally?"

"Do you know another McNally?"

"No," Holly shook her head. "I wouldn't…sleep with her."

"Why not?"

Holly looked her up and down, "Well, there's the fact that I'm with you…isn't that enough?"

"If you weren't with me."

"But I am," Holly said. She accentuated that by leaning down and kissing Gail's elbow quickly. "Happily. With you."

"Let's say you're not."

Holly waited a second before saying, "Let's not say that."

"Play along, Hol," Gail snapped before catching herself and adding a, "Please."

"I still wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't even know her."

Gail actually laughed, "You don't have to _know_ her to _fuck_ her, Holly."

"I like to know the people I fuck," Holly replied. Then she remembered that her and Gail _do_ talk about things, so Gail knew about that one time with that one girl. She quickly tacked on, "Except that once."

"You think she's hot?"

"She was attractive. I was drunk. It was college, Gail. I think I'm allowed that one lap-"

"No, no," Gail interrupted her. "I don't care about that. I mean McNally. Do you think McNally's hot?"

"She's…" Holly shrugged her shoulders, wondering if she was hopping in a minefield. "She's not ugly."

"She thinks you're hot," Gail informed her. "She thinks you're totally doable. Her exact words, actually. Totally doable."

"I'd like to think I'm totally doable," Holly said as seriously as she possibly could. She checked herself out before looking back over to Gail and doing a little boobie shake. "Would you describe me as doable?"

Gail's eyes traveled downward. Holly could feel them on her almost before Gail noticeably swallowed. "You're a nerd," she said.

Holly smirked, "True enough."

"A very nerdy, very smart, incredibly sexy, extremely doable woman," Gail said. "Yes."

"Aww," Holly smiled. She reached out laced her fingers with the only one of Gail's hands she could see. "Thank you for doing me."

"Anytime," Gail chuckled.

Holly was going to offer herself for doing right then but Gail broke up the mood when she said, "So would you fuck McNally or not?"

"Gail!"

"Just answer me."

"I did answer, honey," Holly said. "No, I wouldn't."

"Why not?" Gail asked. She mirrored Holly's position on the bed, looking very curious. "Why?"

Holly tried the most obvious tactic. "McNally is not gay, Gail."

"Neither was I."

Tactic backfired.

Holly went for another argument. "I guess she's not my type."

"What's your type?"

"You."

"Good answer," Gail smiled, but then said, "Now, really. What's your type?"

Holly blew out a breath. "Before, it was smart and accomplished. I dated women that were mostly unavailable so I didn't have to try too hard. I didn't want to feel guilty that I worked too much. They didn't care because they were working as much as I was. Physically, my type has always been all over the map. I don't discriminate when it comes to beautiful women."

When Holly stopped talking, Gail urged her on, "Go ahead. Don't leave me hanging."

"Then I met you," Holly said. "Then it became blonde, snarky, difficult, funny, and named Gail Peck."

Gail rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"You always say the right thing," Gail half-complained. "It's kind of annoying that you're so good at this stuff."

"Just telling you the truth, Gail."

"So…just me?" Gail asked. "_I'm_ your type now."

"I haven't wanted to sleep with anybody else since you said that I smelled," Holly said sincerely. "You're the only person I've even been remotely interested in since that day. So, no, Gail, I wouldn't sleep with McNally. I've never thought about it. Never wanted to. Wouldn't have even considered it if you hadn't just brought it up. I only want to sleep with you. Whether it's sex or just sleeping next to you. I only want to cuddle with _you_ while we watch Investigation Discovery. I only want to have to memorize _your_ Chinese takeout order. Which is insanely intricate, by the way. And…just, so you know, I only want to have conversations about conversations with _you_. Only you. K?"

"Hmm," Gail considered Holly's words. She returned to her previous position, signaling that she was satisfied. "K."

Holly rolled onto her back, grabbed her book and opened it to the page she had been reading. She reached over and began to lightly scratching Gail's back again.

After a few minutes, she saw Gail's eyes start to get heavy.

"Never McNally," Holly whispered. "Nash, though, is a completely different story."

Gail's eyes shot open, suddenly she was wide awake.

* * *

II.

"No fucking way!" Gail yelled in the silence of the police station. She threw her phone on her desk, completely disgusted.

"What?" Dov perked up from his report.

"Something wrong, Gail?" Chris asked.

"I knew I should have gone," Gail said, seething. "When she asked, I should have gone." A chime caused Gail to pick up her phone again and repeat the previous scene. "Ah, damn! Rub it in!"

"What's going on?" Andy asked as she made her way by. "Everything okay?"

"No!" Gail answered. "Everything is _not_ okay."

Now, they were all starting to get concerned.

"What's the matter?" Dov asked, standing from his chair.

"Holly," Gail said, shaking her head.

"Is she okay?" Chris was starting to get a little worked up. "Where is she?"

"On a plane."

"Shit, Gail," Andy, who had been watching from afar, went to her. "Is she alright? Did it crash or something?"

"Crash?" Gail scoffed. "No!"

"Then why are you freaking out?"

Another chime. Another message. Gail looked and just groaned. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"What?" Dov rushed to her. "What's happening?"

Gail showed him her phone.

"Uh," Dov studied the picture that was on the screen. "It's Holly and some lady on a plane."

"Yeah," Gail nodded. "Exactly. I should have gone!"

"Where?" Andy was curious as hell. "Where should you have gone?"

"To her corpse conference," Gail huffed. "She wanted me to go and I said no. So, of course, this would happen."

Another picture caused yet another chime. When Dov saw it, his face scrunched in confusion. He passed the phone off to Chris, who had been holding his hand out for a whole minute.

"Oh my God!" Chris said immediately. "It's Kevin's mom!"

"Yeah!" Gail said. "I know!"

"Whose mom?" Dov wondered as he looked around Chris' shoulder. "Who's Kevin?"

Chris passed the phone off to Andy.

She took a look and nodded, "Hey! Beetlejuice! 'I will go insane and I will take you with me!'"

"Who's going insane?" Traci asked as she happened upon the gathering.

"Me!" Gail complained.

Andy passed Gail's phone to Traci. "Look who Holly met on her flight to Corpse Conference."

"Oh, yeah?" Traci looked slightly impressed. "I know her from…you know…from...the movie with the dog show."

Steve, who pretty much followed Traci around like a puppy, angled Gail's phone in her hand so that he could see, "Hey! She does Sally!"

"Exactly!" Gail said excitedly.

"What?" Traci looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You know…Sally," Steve said to her. "Leo's never made you watch Frankenweenie?"

"Frankenwho?" Traci asked him.

He stared for a second before saying, "Traci, c'mon, Nightmare Before Christmas."

"It's our favorite holiday flick," Gail said as if it was obvious and should be everyone's.

"Peck Christmas Nightmare," Steve said before the two Pecks high-fived at the inside joke.

"This is weird," Andy stood a big step back.

"Actually, it makes sense," Dov finally understood.

Steve slipped the phone out of Traci's hand to get a closer look. "Gail, how does Holly know Sally?"

"She's sitting next to her on a fucking plane," Gail told him through a pout.

"What?" he squealed. "No fucking way!"

"Right!"

"This is amazing," he said.

"I know," she said in quiet reverence, never taking her eyes off the little screen. "She's getting her to sign an air sickness bag for me."

"Gail," he slung his arm around her shoulder, "You have the best girlfriend ever."

* * *

III.

"This is just blatant abuse of your last name," Dov told Gail as he read over the final draft of her specs. "Seriously?" he pointed to a specific area. "You've rented a whole warehouse for this?"

"Yes," Gail said simply. "And don't be mad just because your tired ass ring-in-the-champagne proposal ended up with Chloe in the hospital...again."

"It wasn't in the champagne," Dov said.

"Then how did it end up in her mouth?"

"We still don't know," Dov muttered. "It was on her finger…then halfway down her esophagus. But…we're happy. And she's eating solids again. So, it's fine."

"Yay. Congrats," Gail said deadpanned as she added a solitary clap. "You're stuff is old news."

"It was barely a week ago."

"Old," Gail reiterated. "My proposal will be epic and amazing. Everyone will be in awe. Kids will study it years from now and say, 'Wow, I wish I could have married Gail Peck.' Most importantly, though, Holly will be surprised."

"Such a waste of Toronto's resources," Dov shook his head.

"Waa waa," Gail dismissed his concerns.

"Peck, I'm in for Operation QuestionPop," Sam said as he happened by.

"Great," Gail told him. She checked the square next to Sam's name on her big list of participants.

"Swarek?" Dov's mouth fell open. "Does the Peck's reach know no limits?"

"You know what, Epstein," Gail glared at him. "You can cry me a river, build a boat and then shut the fuck up already."

"I'm out!" Dov said, being a pissy pants. "I'm not taking part in…this…whatever this is."

"Fine, be out," Gail shooed him away. "Don't care, Dov. Go. Run away, muskrat."

"If Epstein is out, can I be in?" Officer Moore suddenly appeared next to Gail.

She looked him up and down. "Sure," she answered finally.

"Cool."

Gail marked off Dov's name and replaced it with 'Gerald,' then told him, "You'll get final instructions next Friday. That's when it's going down."

"Okay."

"Oh, and Moore?"

"Yes?" Duncan asked.

"Never stand this close to me again," Gail demanded.

"She means it," Diaz said when Moore didn't move immediately.

After neither of them cracked a smile, Moore finally shuffled off.

"What did you find out?" Gail asked the newly arrived officer.

"He can do it, but it may cost you," Chris said.

"Cost me?" Gail tapped on her desk. "How much?"

"As much a regular session."

"A regular session?" Gail inquired. "How do you know this guy again?"

"He's the one that posed for my nude art class," Chris said. "Only model I know."

"I said actor, Diaz!"

"Same thing, Gail."

"Not the same!" she argued. "Not the same at all!"

"Well, he said he'd do it."

"Can he keep his pants on?" Gail asked. "I don't need a naked, dead guy. I just need a dead guy."

"I'll check," he told her and then made a frantic motion to something behind her as he tried to flee. "Ollyhay!"

"Hey, honey."

Gail felt Holly's arms slide around her waist nearly too late as she quickly flipped one side of her giant warehouse blueprint over the other half.

It was a damn good thing Holly was more worried about planting the kiss on her neck than she was about checking out what Gail had been hunched over studying.

"Hey," Gail said, turning in Holly arms and pushing her backward a bit. "How's my favorite doctor?"

"I've finally taken the number one spot held so long by Dr Pepper?" Holly's eyes widened.

"Barely," Gail teased. "Not that I'm glad to see you, but what brings you by?"

"Dropping a couple things off for your brother, actually," she said. "He's being weird. Kept talking about marriage and how important it is…is something going on with him and Trace?"

"Nah," Gail said, mentally making a note to kick him in the shin. "You know Steve, he's just a weirdo."

"Peck, Mike from the lab is in," Oliver said, not looking up from the file he was reading. "Also he says that-"

"Oliver!"

"Holly is-"

"Right here!" Gail said loudly. "Holly's here!"

"What, huh?" he looked up and saw both of them looking at him. "Oh, hey. Holly's here!"

"Mike is in?" Holly's eyebrow arched. "In what?"

"In debt," Gail said and then mentally slapped herself. "Eh…to Oliver…for…"

"Money," Oliver said, because naturally it would be money, right. "Not a large sum."

"Small amount," Gail nodded. She held out her forefinger and thumb, "Just a little."

"Mike owes you money?" Holly said. "I didn't even know you two knew each other."

"Of course, they do," Gail said. "They play…poker. In the _card game_!"

"Exactly!" Oliver said. "Yes, he's in the game."

"Mike plays poker?"

"Big card shark," Gail tried to make it sound plausible. "Quite the bluffer."

"Card sharp," Holly said to her. "You've played poker with Mike…my Mike?"

"No, no," Gail shook her head, knowing there was zero chance of Holly ever believing that. "But Ollie, here, has."

"Many times," Oliver replied. "Many, many times."

"Wait," Gail held up her hand, "It's card sharp? I thought it was card shark."

"Either way," Oliver commented," Ol' Mike is one."

"Yet, he owes you money," Holly couldn't quite see her meek lab assistant as the poker playing pro they were describing.

"Yeah, yeah," Oliver said. "I'm a card shark, er, sharp, too."

XXX

"I can't believe you have this many people willing to mill about a fake crime scene in order to fool your girlfriend," Andy said as she skimmed down Gail's list.

"It's good to be me," Gail shrugged. She opened her locker and smiled at the picture of Holly and her stuck on the inside. "Really good."

"I'm looking forward to it," Chloe piped up. "It'll be so romantic."

"Except that Holly will think she's been called to a warehouse for a homicide," Traci said. "Sorry, Gail, but it's a little morbid."

"It's suppose to be a surprise, okay," Gail defended her plan. "It's not like I have real dead body with a ring tied to its toe."

"Oh, oh, what's the ring look like?" Chloe asked, hopping a little. She did so while managing to wave her brand new bling at them.

"Well," Gail pointed at Chloe's hand. "Holly's ring didn't have to be retrieved with tongs and a pair of heavy duty rubber gloves."

Chloe's smile dimmed at the truth in the statement.

"How did that happen again?" Traci asked her.

"We don't know," Chloe said, eyes shifting.

"For some reason, I can't imagine you buying a ring," Andy said as she stuffed some things in her locker.

"I didn't," Gail admitted as she pulled her sweater over her head. "When I asked her parents they to-"

"You asked her parents?" Traci cut her off. "Wow, didn't know anybody did that anymore."

"I'm one of a kind," Gail retorted. "Anyway, when I asked them, they said Holly always loved her grandmother's ring…so…"

"Aww," Chloe smiled. "That's adorable."

"Blow me," Gail said to her as she slammed her locker shut.

XXX

When Holly arrived home that evening, Gail was curled up on the couch fast asleep. She watched her for a few minutes before making a quick detour upstairs. She went back and forth in her mind about what she was going to do, but decided to just go for it.

Holly couldn't help the smile that crept onto her mouth as she made her way down the stairs and sat next to Gail on the couch.

"Gail," Holly whispered. "Hey, baby."

Gail's eyes barely opened and she mumbled something indecipherable.

That made Holly smile even wider. "I love you."

"You, too," Gail said as snuggled tighter into her ball.

Holly brushed back a few strands of hair that had fallen over Gail's eyes. "I never want to not come home to you."

Gail nodded her agreement with the sentiment.

"Gail," Holly said a little louder as she brushed her finger down a pale cheek. "Gail, hey."

"Hey," Gail said sleepily.

Holly led her hand trail down Gail's arm to her hand and then finally to one finger in particular.

One blue eye blinked open when she felt something being slipped on it.

"What's that?"

"Marry me," Holly said simply as she pushed the ring onto Gail's finger.

Gail immediately pulled her hand away and sat upright. "What? No!"

The look on Holly's face was akin to terror for a moment. Her smile fell, her eyes nearly bugged right out of her head. "No?" she sort of shook the notion out of her mind before refocusing. "What, now?"

"I meant, yes," Gail was cringing, though. "Yes!"

"You said no!"

"I meant yes!"

"No doesn't mean yes," Holly said and she stood up and took a big step back. "Every woman knows that."

"Yes!" Gail said. "Yes, I'll marry you, dammit!"

"Don't be so thrilled about, Gail."

"I am!"

"You said no!"

"Because I wanted to ask you!" Gail started to laugh. "I had planned to ask you."

"Really?" Holly's face broke into a small grin. "You were going to ask me?"

"Yeah," Gail nodded. "Because…well, I love you, duh."

"So…that's a yes?"

"Of course," Gail said. She grabbed Holly's face and pulled her in for a kiss. "Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll absolutely marry you."

Holly pulled her in tighter. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Gail said. "But hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Can you act surprised next week when you get called to a warehouse full of cops and a dead body that may or may not be naked?"

* * *

IV.

Watching Holly work was strangely sexy. Strange because Holly worked on dead bodies, so Gail always felt really bad about enjoying it. But, that didn't stop her from appreciating her wife's cleavage while she leaned over to study a stab wound.

"What time does your admirer arrive again?" Gail asked, checking the clock.

"Should be here anytime," Holly answered as she looked over her shoulder.

"Too bad," Gail winked at her.

"Working, here, babe," Holly reminded her.

"I know, I know," Gail said. "So…this is the guy with the crush, huh?"

"Gail," Holly warned her. "Don't do it."

"What am I doing?" Gail looked around the morgue from her seat at Holly's desk. "I'm just sitting here."

"Now," Holly nodded. "But in a few minutes, you're going to make that kid's life miserable."

"Why do you think that?"

"…"

"I'm offended."

"…"

"I won't do anything," Gail held up her hands in innocence. "I'm here in a professional capacity."

"Uh huh," Holly eyed her. "And don't say anything about the chess match."

"Who invites a woman they have a crush on to a freaking chess match anyway?" Gail chuckled. "That's as nerdy as taking a chick to the batting cages."

"Hey!"

"Hey!" Gail mocked her.

"Worked," Holly shrugged.

"Like a charm," Gail agreed. She opened one of the drawers of Holly's desk, pushed a few things around.

"Bottom right," Holly said, rolling her eyes.

"You're the bes-" Gail started and then realized that Holly had led her to apple chips. She pulled them out and presented them to Holly. "What's this?"

"Your snack."

Gail groaned, "I've noticed that now that we're married, you've stopped keeping the good stuff around. It feels like a conspiracy."

"It is," Holly answered. "Healthier snacking all part of my evil plan."

Anything else that Gail might have wanted to argue was put on the backburner when Holly's young intern walked through the door.

"Doctor Stewart," he greeted her with a smile and wave. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Holly said.

"Hey there," Gail said loudly to him as well.

Gail's voice must have surprised him because he jumped and spun around.

"Oh, hello."

"Thomas, this is Officer Peck," Holly said. She looked at Gail while gesturing to Thomas, "My intern, Thomas."

"Thomas," Gail noted.

"Let's get to work," Holly pulled the young guy away while sending Gail another warning look.

An hour later, Gail was still planted in Holly's desk chair. She had carefully studied the interaction between her wife and her new intern and come to the conclusion that this dude was a clueless dork. And he laughed way too loudly when Holly made one of her nerdy jokes. Way, way too loudly. Nobody thought Holly's nerd jokes were that funny.

She wasn't threatened, but she still didn't like it. Not one bit. She was annoyed.

The crinkling bag of Gail's more wholesome than she preferred chips made the young intern's attention snap to her. He seemed just as annoyed by her presence, so she waved at him a little with her free hand.

"Having fun, Officer?" Holly asked when she noticed.

"Having a blast, Doctor."

"Are there cops around here a lot?" Thomas asked Holly.

"That particular cop is," she said to him. "You'll get used to her."

"Oh, okay," he said, giving Gail a bit of a glare.

"You're working on my case, there, buddy," Gail responding to the look, pointing to the body.

Thomas nodded, "Of course, yeah. I just didn't know you would hang around all day while we did the autopsy."

"Pretty sure that the doctor is doing the autopsy," Gail couldn't help but point out. "You're just sort of standing there." After a quick, but stern glance from Holly, Gail finished with, "I usually wouldn't. Today must be your lucky day."

XXX

Just a little bit later when Holly was called out of the room momentarily, Gail took her chance. She threw a chip at the intern. "Hey, dweeby nerd science man."

He looked over out of the corner of his eye and motioned to himself, "Me?"

"Yeah, you," Gail said. She crooked her finger at him, signaling for him to come closer.

He seemed very reluctant, but did so anyway.

"So…Doctor Stewart."

"Yeah?" he answered quietly.

"Have a little thing for her?" she asked in hushed tones.

"What?" Thomas shook his head furiously. "No."

"Don't lie, geek."

Thomas slowly grinned and nodded, "She's very attractive."

"She is," Gail agreed. "Probably the sexiest nerd to ever nerd."

"There's an excellent chance," he smiled widely. "Well above average aesthetically, speaking. Also, she's very intellectually stimulating."

"Yeah…hot and smart," she laughed. "She's the whole package."

"Absolutely," he said, not missing a beat.

Gail couldn't help but say, "You know she's married to a cop, right?"

Thomas quickly sobered with this information, "She is?"

"A bad ass cop," Gail said. "You should ask her about it."

Thomas narrowed his eyes, "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Thomas still didn't look like he believed her, "She's hasn't said anything about a husband."

"She wouldn't," Gail told him. "Doesn't have a husband…" she mouthed, "wife."

"Oh," Thomas said, doubly dejected by the newest news. "Gay?"

"Yep," Gail nodded.

"She has mentioned someone named Gail," Thomas remembered. "Is that her wife?"

"That's the one," Gail celebrated his detective work by giving him an apple chip.

Holly rushed through the door of the morgue, looking like she may have jogged to get back. "Everything okay in here?" she asked.

"Yep!" Gail said.

"Thomas?" Holly looked him over. "Everything alright?"

"Sure," he said.

"Okay," Holly looked at Gail. "Was Peck being nice?"

"Yeah, Officer Peck told me all about your wife," Thomas said. "I didn't know you were married."

"Officer Peck told you about my wife?" Holly tried to hide the smile creeping up. "What exactly did she tell you?"

"Uh…" Thomas briefly caught eyes with Gail. "She told me that your wife is a police officer."

"And that she's ah-may-zing," Gail elaborated.

"That, too," Thomas said.

"Amazing might be an exaggeration," Holly said, face expressionless.

"No," Gail said. "I don't think so."

"Don't get me wrong," Holly said to Thomas, "I love her…but-"

"But?" Gail stood. "But, what?"

"She's…" Holly tapped her chin, "Sometimes she's extreme."

"Extreme?" Thomas seemed concerned.

"Shut up, Nerd Guy," Gail said to him. "Extreme?" she asked Holly herself.

"Yeah," Holly nodded. "For instance, she takes things way too far sometimes."

"No, she doesn't," Gail argued. "She takes things exactly how far they should go."

"And, she has a bit of attitude problem," Holly continued.

"Which is part of her charm," Gail said. She rounded the desk, all the while telling Thomas, "She's very charming."

"She's completely full of herself."

"Not entirely true," Gail said, eliminating the space between her and her wife.

"C'mon."

"Maybe a little," Gail said. "Tiny bit."

"More than a little."

Gail stopped just as she got to Holly, "You really think so?"

Holly gave her that adorable lopsided grin, "You don't?"

"I don't."

"Well," Holly looked around Gail and at Thomas, "She's also insane."

"That has some credibility," Gail agreed, staring intently at Holly. "She may be insane."

Holly bit her lip anticipation. "Thomas, go and retrieve my lab reports."

"Uh, okay," he said, still trying to work out what the hell he was seeing, but definitely getting a little scared of whoever this extreme, crazy wife of Dr. Stewart's was.

"Thomas, Go!" Gail commanded, never looking his way. "Now."

When she heard the door close, she closed the remaining distance.

"You _are_ insane," Holly said after the kiss.

Gail laughed, "So what…you like it."

"Quit fucking with my intern," Holly told her as she tugged hard on Gail's utility belt. "It's not nice."

"It was hilarious, though."

"For you, maybe," Holly said as her hands rested on Gail's waist. "I'm actually trying to teach him something."

"Me, too!" Gail played with the buttons of Holly's shirt. "Don't have a crush on a cop's wife…it's a great lesson to learn."

* * *

V.

Gail made a last ditch effort while she stood outside Holly's door with Ben on her hip. She placed her finger on her chest, "Mom."

"Gum."

"Mom."

"Gum."

"Mom."

"Gum."

"No, Ben," Gail dug her finger into her chest harder, "Mo-om. I'm Mom."

Ben giggled at her, so overcome by her hilarity that he burrowed into the same spot she was tapping. When he popped up suddenly, he very clearly said, "Gum."

"Hm."

She couldn't be mad. Her son was only eleven months old. And, really this was all her fault. When he first said 'gum' she was chewing a piece of gum, so of course, she celebrated his achievement. False praise, apparently. What made it especially bad is that for the next few days, she would purposely chew gum and ask Ben to identify it. What she didn't know, is that she was cementing her in boy's head that she was 'Gum.'

Holly was 'Mama.' Uncle Steve was 'Tee.' Even his Aunt Traci was 'Ace,' which Gail thought would have been cool. But, nope. She was 'Gum.' She'd been fighting this battle for over a week now. Finally, though, she had a day off to do nothing but teach her son that she was 'Mom.'

She knocked on the door to Holly's office and was greeted by a super smiley wife.

"Hi, my two favorite people!" Holly exclaimed.

"If you were to rank us one and two…," Gail said slyly.

"You'd tie," Holly replied, giving Gail a kiss on the lips and then holding her arms out.

"Mama!" Ben reached for her, excited to see his other mom.

"Seriously?" Gail pouted. She made the exchange and watched while Holly smooched all over Ben's face.

"Still no luck?" Holly asked as she settled on the corner of her desk.

"Ben," Gail got his attention and pointed to herself again. "Mom."

"Gum," Ben said and clapped at how awesome he was at this game.

"Nope," Gail huffed. "No luck."

"He'll get it," Holly said. She reached out and took Gail's hand. Holly pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her cheek. "He knows who you are, babe."

"What if he doesn't?" Gail asked. "What if I'm always 'Gum?'

"You won't be."

"What if I am?"

"Then you'll be Gum," Holly shrugged. "It could be worse."

"Maybe he's trying to say Gollum," Thomas suggested as he breezed through Holly's office and dropped a folder on her desk.

"That'd be worse," Holly commented.

Gail glared at Thomas, "Wasn't your internship up like two years ago? Why are you still here?"

Thomas punched her lightly on the arm, "They pay me now…barely, but they do."

"You're lucky that my wife likes you so much," Gail told him.

"Yeah, yeah," Thomas directed his attention to Ben, "Hey Ben! How are you, Ben?"

"He's peachy," Gail answered for him.

Thomas pointed to himself, "Thomas."

"Oms," Ben said.

"Thomas."

"Oms!" Ben clapped for himself some more.

"Close enough, buddy," Thomas held up his hand for a little high five.

"Go away," Gail seethed.

Thomas always had the good sense to head out when Gail ordered him to.

"Back in an hour," Holly yelled to him as he exited.

"Never liked that guy," Gail said, hopefully loud enough to reach him.

"You do, too," Holly reminded her. "He helps me have us time. We like him. We might even love him."

Gail sighed and tried again. She waved at her son, "Hey, Ben. Who am I?"

"Gum," he answered immediately.

Gail frowned.

"Maybe he's saying 'Gump,'" a voice came from the doorway.

"No, Mike," Gail shook her head. "He's not saying Gump."

"It's possible," he said.

"Hey Mike," Holly greeted him. "What's up?"

"Incoming in the morgue," he informed her. "You've got time. Just a heads up."

"K, thanks," she nodded.

"Sure, Doctor Stewart," Mike took a step back. "Bye Ben. Bye Gump."

"Hilarious, Mike!" Gail called to him. Then said to Holly, "He's still pissed about that whole gambling thing."

"We encouraged him to join Gamblers Anonymous, Gail," Holly said. "I'd be mad, too."

"Somebody's mad at Gail?" Dov asked as he walked right into to Holly's office and lifted Ben out of her arms. "Not surprised. What did you do this time?"

"Nothing," Gail said. "It's residual anger from years ago."

"Oh," Dov danced around with Ben and his voice went up three octaves, "I have some of that, too. Yes, I do. Sometimes I get mad at your gum, as well."

Holly burst into laughter.

"I should have never told you that," Gail said, full of regret. "I knew it would come back and bite me."

Dov ignored that. "Hey Ben. Who am I? Dov." Dov put his hand on his chest. "Dov."

"Uf. Uf."

"Yes!" Dov raised his fist. "Uf!"

"That's not even close," Gail argued.

"Closer than gum," Dov smirked and handed Ben back to Holly. "I already dropped off my notes with Thomas," he said to her. "But I heard Ben was here, so I wanted to say hi."

"Hi," Holly said, waving Ben's hand at Dov.

"We have to set a playdate," Dov told them.

"Your baby is only six weeks old, Epstein."

"And?" Dov asked. "Never too young to socialize."

"Why didn't you tell me the little guy was here?" McNally asked as she, too, just waltzed right in.

Dov shrugged, "I wasn't planning to be gone long."

"Still," McNally nearly shoved Gail out of the way to get to Ben and Holly. "May I?" she asked.

Holly handed him over.

"Hi there, Ben," she cooed. "Hi Ben. What's going on? Are you spending the day with your mommy? Are you?"

"He is," Gail said, pinching his shoe clad foot. "Hanging out with _Mom._ _Mom_, Ben."

"Your kid is adorable," Andy said to both of them when she gave him back to Holly.

"Thanks," Gail accepted on behalf of all of them.

"Alright, we've got to go," Andy said making a move for the door and motioning for Dov to follow. "Oh, and Gail…"

"Yeah?" Gail turned around.

"Gum?" Andy asked as handed her a pack. Then pulled a bag of her cargo pocket, "Gummy bears?"

"Shut up!"

Andy pulled out yet another bag, "Can I interest you in some gummy worms, perhaps?"

"Get out, McNally."

"Maybe he's mad at you for giving him that name," Andy suggested.

"There's nothing wrong with his name," Gail argued. "It's a perfectly great name."

"Oliver Benson Stewart-Peck," Andy drew out. "It's…"

"Awesome!" Gail finished.

Andy looked at Holly.

"She won that coin toss, too," Holly explained. "She always wins. That's why we never have correct change."

"Good luck, Peck," Andy yelled as she and Dov left.

"Ugh," Gail sat next to Holly on her desk. "Our friends suck."

"You've spent years dishing it out, honey," Holly said, rubbing Gail's thigh.

"Yeah, but it's not fair when they use my own boy against me."

"Eh," Holly grinned. "Look at him, though."

Gail did so and immediately smiled. "McNally's right about that whole adorable thing."

"Uh huh," Holly said. "He's freaking adorable."

"Just like his Mama," Gail curled her arm around Holly's back.

"And he's amazing," Holly's eyes twinkled, kissing his head. "Just like his mom."

"Mom," Ben said.

Both of them stilled.

"What?" Gail asked him. "Ben, who am I?"

"Who is that?" Holly pointed to Gail.

They waited with bated breath.

"Gum."


End file.
